Emails/Comments That Didn’t Make the Book But Should Have

“I did everything in Vegas fitting a person of my station.”

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Associate to Legal Secretary: “Was that A. Big Shot Attorney Who Just Yelled “F%$#!”

Legal Secretary: “No, that was Other Associate.”

Associate to Legal Secretary: “Good, that means I don’t have to deal with it.

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A. Big Shot Attorney to Minion Paralegal: “Why the F%$# is my computer not fixed?!”

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A. Big Shot Attorney to Minion Paralegal: “I am busy and cannot remember everything I give to you, and I rely upon you to bring any conflicts in work to my attention or to find someone to assist you so that both attorney’s work can be timely accomplished. Moreover, you indicated that you would do the tapes ASAP, but you left for lunch and it was not done. Please ask me if you need help. If you have any questions, please let me know.”

Minion Paralegal to A. Big Shot Attorney: “I apologize for leaving to eat lunch before starting your tape. It will not happen again.”

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A. Big Shot Attorney to Minion Paralegals: “I should not have to mess with or even think about this stuff. It may be surprising, but most of the stuff I do is very high stress and complicated. I do not want to hear about this again. There may be other lawyers that do things differently and I do not care.”

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Managing Big Shot Attorney to Entire Staff: “The firm is appreciative of the great brunch prepared by the staff yesterday. The food was delicious and we always enjoy a brief time of relaxation with our staff.”

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