I have been thumbing through some old emails for old time’s sake and one glaringly obvious commonality that they all share is the use of the word “ASAP.” As in, nearly every single assignment I have ever received from a lawyer has been sure to add that I need to complete this assignment ASAP. Well of course it does.
After all, everything a trial litigator touches has an immediate and far-reaching direct impact on the life and well-being of EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANET. Ask them. They will tell you.
Isn’t an inflated sense of self-importance one of the key indicators of insanity? It is certainly delusional, that much is certain.
Talk about living in a pressure cooker. You know what’s even more demoralizing? When you get in an hour early, skip lunch, and miss your child’s school function in order to complete an ASAP project, only to find out at 6:00 p.m. that your entire day was a giant waste of time because your boss forgot to tell you that he didn’t actually need you to finish the ASAP project after all. It turns out something more pressing has come up.
Looks like you’ll be rolling out that cot under your desk.
Congratulations. You’re a litigation trial paralegal.